Our Baby Journey…

I'm infertile, there I've said it. Now you know and now we can move on :) This news might be a shock to you as I’ve chosen to keep quiet about this, it’s been really difficult to admit or even talk about. It’s been an emotional roller coaster so far; sadness, depression, hopeful and even embarrassment.

“Infertility happens when two people try to make a baby for a year or longer.  Infertility does NOT mean the couple will never get pregnant.  It just means they may have a harder time doing so than others.”

We have been trying to get pregnant for about 15 months.  If you would have told me years ago that it would take so long to get pregnant I would never have believed it.  Seems like everyone in my family has had nothing but wonderful surprises but now that someone is actually trying to plan one, it doesn't happen. 

After a few months of trying I went to my OBG and she said “oh it’s normal, keep trying and have fun”.  That was October of 2013, flash forward to June 2014 I went to see a specialist; making that call was so tough, I couldn’t get through scheduling an appointment before crying my eyes out. Thankfully my mom went with me to that appointment, I needed her.  The Dr determined my cycles are irregular, but that it was an easy fix.  So I have to start taking medication that makes me a little extra emotional - oh joy!  Thankfully I don’t get angry very often; however this whole process has made me very depressed. The first month came and went and a big fat negative.  A friend said that acupuncture worked well for a few friends of hers, so hey why not let’s try that too.  I mean hell its only money right?!?! So I’ve now been going to acupuncture for two months and just finished my third cycle with medication. 

The Dr say we have to try every other day and to enjoy it, well when you pencil “trying” onto a calendar it kind of takes the fun out of it, yanno? I did have some blood work done to make sure I ovulated this month, because for the past 2 cycles the predictor kit keeps coming up with nothing. It kind of makes me nervous, but I guess we will see.  So many questions run through your head, yet you have no answers.

Today I found out that I’m not pregnant, so it’s been a pretty hard emotional day for me.  Every month, I get my hopes up and even have several symptoms of a pregnant lady. But it turns out nope, nothing just my imagination. My cycles have still not been regulated from the medicine, so I’m not sure what the game plan is going to be now. They want us to start IUI (Inter Uterine Insemination) after the next cycle, but I’m not sure if we are ready to go there yet.  If my cycles aren’t regulated yet, won’t we still be getting the same result? And since insurance doesn’t cover any of this, I’d like to be a little surer about the results before we go shelling out even more money. But hey from what we spend monthly of fertility cost, should be simular to daycare cost so this is just preparing us right?!?

Like many women, I didn’t want to talk about it because I just feel like something was wrong with me or I’m doing something wrong. Infertility is rarely discussed, but it should be so more women realize they are not alone.

Anyways so that’s where we are to this point.

Praying for Baby B!

Jacki